31 days.. 29th November 2009-29th December 2009

It has been 31 days since his passing away. I miss him. I miss his voice, his super sweet smile, his laughter, his warm hugs, his kisses on my cheeks.. oh I miss EVERYTHING about him. I miss him a lot!!!!!!

Sometimes I can't believe the fact that he's gone, forever. Sometimes I wished that this was just a dream. A nightmare perhaps. And when I woke up, I'd find everything was just like it used to be.
No more waking up to find my heart breaks by the thought of him. No more feeling like a part of my life is gone. Vanished. No more nightmares... No more shattered dreams. How I wished. But this is the reality that I have to face. The biggest test GOD has ever given us.

I was very careful not to let my feelings show. I smiled a lot, I laughed my heart out, I went out with my friends.. But the truth is, I am so torn up inside. I couldn't stop being sad. I couldn't stop wishing and wishing this is all just a dream. I cried everyday and every night whenever I get the chance of being alone. Oh God, help me get through this, please...

My friends told me to take it easy, that time will heal everything. That someday perhaps, I'd be able to stop wishing the impossibles. I know I should, but not for the time being. This is all so hard for me. So hard to digest. Because I've never thought this could happen to my own family. Oh how naive I am.

Now, all that's left are the sweet memories. As time goes by, the memories with him will always stay here with me forever. He, will always remain here in my heart, my mind and my soul. I love him always......

Abang, Ala rindu abang..... sangat2!!
Al-Fatihah...